August 8, 1971 ...

BJ -

Three weeks. That was all. You were there. Then you were gone.

I was right. 34 years later, and I've still never laughed so much, nor grieved so deeply in such a short amount of time. It's still the most difficult thing I've ever experienced, but I'd do it all again.

Thank you for giving yourself to me. For protecting me. For loving me.

For making me laugh.

Blueberry Hill Road

The house was huge. Five stories on a wooded lot at the top of Blueberry Hill Road. It sat on three lots. The corner one was covered with trees and boulders left from the ice age, so the story went. Then the house, and next was a large open yard with undeveloped forest after that.

It was a grey barn style that was very popular at the time. The top floor was a single room where the tv was. That magical box she could watch and escape into. It's the room she spent her 5th birthday in, with her brother and baby sitter, while her parents vacationed in Florida. It's the room she and her brother shared secrets and dreams in.

There was a girl at the bottom of the hill named Linda who was her best friend. And a boy across the street named Billy who was her brother's best friend. There were a few trips. Mostly to the shore. And her grandparents came to visit once. As usual she had to be perfect.

That house was where the dreams started.

To escape.

The Bus Stop

Every morning she and her stepbrother would head out the door and down the street to the bus stop. It was their time to catch up, share, complain, commiserate. Neither one was happy, and both searched for something to ease the misery. The house seemed almost repressive.

Her escape usually came in the way of drugs and drinking. His started with a religion his mother had found. He burned his posters, he broke his records, he lectured her. That only lasted a few months.

And then he found drugs. He moved out right after they graduated. She only visited once. Even with all her experience, she had never seen so many different kinds of drugs, so much paraphernalia. She was worried, and rightly so.

Just three months later, he was gone.

First Love, For One.

He stumbled over his words when he asked her out the first time. She had just started working there, and he couldn't stop staring at her. She had the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen. He wasn't exactly experienced in the dating game, in fact he had only gone out with one other girl, and was scared to death to ask her. But she didn't laugh. She smiled, and said sure, that sounds like fun. They went to a movie, but he could hardly pay attention. After the movie they went to a pizza shop. She was honest, she didn't like the movie. He liked that she didn't try to impress him. She said what was on her mind.

A few weeks later he graduated, and she was there, excited for him. They dated through the summer. She was gone part of the time, she always spent at least part of the summer down south. But when they were together they had a great time. At the end of August she was going back to school for her final year. He had already decided he was going to ask her to marry him. He couldn't imagine being without here. Not looking into those eyes every day.

They had plans for a concert. It was at a small restaurant nearby, and a well known jazz performer was going to play. He was so nervous. He bought a new suit, and planned to ask her at the end of the night. Dinner was fun, they went with another couple they had doubled with several times before. They laughed, and enjoyed the music. They shared dreams about the future.

He took her home, and as they sat outside, he tried to get the nerve. And then his world collapsed. She told him that she really cared for him, but she thought that it might be best if they split up, at least for awhile. She had a lot going on with work, and her final year of school. Trying to figure out what she was going to do with the rest of her life.

He had already done that. He knew what he wanted. It just hadn't ever occured to him that she didn't.

Innocence

All summer they dated. Sweet innocent friendship really, they were too young, but they liked each other so much. Day after day, under the hot humid southern skies, they hung out, sometimes at the pool, usually under the big maple tree in her gramdmother's front yard. Sitting in those awful white metal lawn chairs. The whole neighborhood was there. His sisters and brothers, her cousins, their friends. Stories were told, and secrets were shared.

The end of August came, and she went home. By the next summer, his family had moved away. She never saw him again. But she never forgot him.

The bass player

Every Friday there was a teen canteen. A local band would play, and she always went. Sometimes with her friends, sometimes with her brother. Most girls would have crushes on the lead singer, or the drummer. She was a bass guitar girl. They always looked so cool. Unlike the lead guitar player who usually jumped all around, the bass player stood still. Once in a while one would even keep his sunglasses on. She loved the low sound, like a heartbeat.

That night she was alone. She stood to the side and watched him the entire set. When they took a break, he headed for her. She knew he would. They talked about music. He was surprised she played guitar. He asked her to wait until the end of the night. She did.

They sat on the stage for two hours. They played songs. She sang, he sang, they sang together. The other band members came and went. The cleaning crew finished, but stuck around to listen. It was the closest to being in the limelight that she ever came. Less than a year later she put down her guitar and never played again.

But she had that night.

Waiting

He would watch her all the way down the street. Knowing she was walking toward him. For him. To be with him. He loved her more than he would admit. But he knew he couldn't have her. Oh, she was his now. But not for long. Soon she would gone. Back up north. To her other life. The one she wouldn't share with him. He didn't mind that she wouldn't talk about it. He understood.

Day after day that summer he waited on the stairs by the pool. Watching the street. Waiting for her.

Fast forward ten years. She was there, at his door. She looked exactly the same as she had all those years ago. She couldn't stay long. She wanted to go get something to eat, and visit for awhile, but she had to run get cleaned up first.

He said he would get ready and meet her at the stairs.

And one last time, he watched her walk down the street toward him. And he smiled.

Summer of 71 - Part 1

She was just 12 years old. You wouldn't know it, she had a body more mature than most 18 year-olds. And because of her past, she was smarter, rougher and more mature as well. She was already drinking and smoking. Even drugs were in the picture occasionally. Her life down south was the exact opposite from the upper class, dignified life she led at home. When she was down south, it was party time.

She was spending the summer with her grandmother. That night she had decided to spend the night with her aunt, who lived nearby. There was a boy on her aunt's street she was interested in, a much older and very much more experienced 20 year old. He had invited her to come over for a while, and she jumped at the chance. She didn't know he only thought of her as a friend, as the young niece of that crazy lady down the street he occasionally did work for.

The evening was fun. Some of his friends came over, and they watched TV and drank a few beers. She returned to her aunts house about midnight. Aunt D was entertaining that night. She wasn't the most upstanding of citizens, and quite often would bring home whoever caught her eye. She was an alcoholic, and loved to party. That night was a 48 year old named Ray. Ray watched the girl come in the front door, say goodnight, and head to bed. And later, while she was sleeping, he 'mistakenly' went into the bedroom instead of the bathroom. August in the south can be brutal, hot, humid, and she was sleeping in a tiny little 'babydoll' pj outfit. Her aunt asked him what he was doing, he said he just turned the wrong way going back to the living room.

About 4 am, Aunt D decided it was time to get rid of Ray, but he wouldn't leave. Thinking not-so-clearly, she decided to go up the street to get the boy her niece had been visiting with earlier. He wasn't very tall, but he was stocky and strong as an ox. She thought maybe he could make Ray leave.

As soon as she left the house. Ray made his move. He went into the bedroom where the girl was sleeping, and crawled into bed. Before she was even awake, he had started the attack. To the girl, it seemed to take forever, in reality it was over in less than a minute. When she was finally able to get her arms free, she punched him in the face as hard as she could. She was a tiny thing, but she was well trained by an older brother and two older cousins, who had taught her how to hit. As Ray fell back on the bed, she jumped up and ran to the front door. She was able to get it open, and flew across the lawn to the neighbors house. She was yelling and banging on the door. Just as the woman opened the door, the man appeared at the edge of the front porch. The girl slipped inside and listened to him try to convince the neighbor that the girl had to come home, he was looking after her for her aunt.

The neighbor didn't believe him, and shut the door. She called the police, and the girl's grandmother. The aunt showed up with the boy from up the street. Drunk as a skunk, full of concern for her sweet baby niece. Everyone moved back next door, to the scene of the crime. Questions were asked.

Southern justice is an interesting thing. When the good old boys decide to take matters into their own hands, they do. Legality be damned. Southerners just have a different way of handling things. The girl's grandmother didn't want any fuss about this. She was embarrassed, for her daughter who was drunk and caused all of this with her irresponsible behavior, for her grandaughter who was now sitting in the boys lap angry and crying, and for herself. It was simply a unpleasant incident that needed to be taken care of by family. There would be no further action required of the police.

The neighbor boy was dispatched to round up a few friends to make sure Ray regretted what he had done. The lady next door was thanked, and asked to simply forget that anything had ever happened. And the girl was told "Good things don't just happen to good people, and bad things don't just happen to bad people. Sometimes fate gets confused. Deal with this, get over it and move on. God never gives you more than you can handle."